When it comes to mental health, it’s a big deal…a very big deal. Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body and spirit. I’ve been learning that, especially since college when I first started practicing meditation and started becoming more mindful of my surroundings, Becoming more mindful and aware of how my actions can really…not only make or break me, but make or break someone else. And I want to touch on that for today’s blog post because I feel that a lot of people these days lose track of themselves because they get pulled into social media, they get addicted to watching YouTube videos, porn, and binge watching tv series or movies all day or all night. Consuming, consuming, consuming, shopping, drugs, alcohol–you name it. And when we over consume, it can then lead to overthinking, anxiety, or depression. And then people wonder why they feel the way that they do.
I’ve learned after moving out here to the Antelope Valley, how isolating it can be when you don’t have your extended family around you, and you don’t have your friends close by. And since today’s topic is about mental health, I want to be vulnerable with you because I feel it’s healthy and productive to talk about rough things that we’ve gone through as human beings. We all go through different sh*t… different things that effect us in different ways, and if this post helps someone feel any less alone or sad today, then I know I’ve done something right.
So let’s get deep!
It was really hard moving to the desert because I was born and raised in Los Angeles California, and I always had family 10-20 minutes away. I always had friends nearby, friends that I went to middle and high school with. Every time I felt the itch to hang out, I was never bored and never felt alone because there was always people around me who knew me. people that I was close to that loved me, that I had shared experiences with…I just miss that so much; Having that kind of community and feeling like I belonged, being able to visit my cousins whenever I felt like it, being able to meet up with my friends, or being able to visit my grandma within just a few minutes. It’s different living out here now because I live so far away and nothing is as convenient as it used to be. Everything needs to be planned in advance now because I live a little over an hour away from the people I used to associate with consistently on a weekly basis, so there’s no such thing as spontaneously paying someone a visit anymore. Some of my friends and family have moved away to different cities and my best friend moved to a different state due to law school and career.
It took me a while to get used to my new environment because I’ve never lived so far away from LA (except when I moved up north for my undergrad program). I’ve never lived this far from the beach before either, and it took me two years to really get used to the different climate, the intensity of the weather, especially during the brutal summers and winters. And I remember how depressed I got after moving out here. We pretty much had no choice but to move because rent was getting very expensive, and our area in mid-city was being gentrified. we went through two different owners too, and The last owner even misrepresented himself. Eventually we ended up finding out that he was a house flipper, and then he told us we had three months to leave. He was increasing the rent and wanted new tenants, so he paid us to leave.
Just imagine, growing up and being raised in a city and then being told that you have to leave your home forcefully because things were changing and becoming very different, and not in a good way. It sucked. It more than just sucked, it was traumatic, it was depressing, and filled with anxiety and stress to say the least. My family and I were very angry, it wasn’t right. But eventually, after searching and searching, we found a good realtor and she helped us look more into the outskirts because we couldn’t afford anything in LA anymore. So we had no choice, but to expand our horizons and started looking outside of our home city which we had never done before as a family.
Thankfully, we got lucky and found a place in Palmdale and we’ve been here eversince. It’s been about 7 and a half years going on 8 that we’ve lived out here. I would say that I’ve gotten used to the life here, I’ve adapted and all, but there’s still a lot of moments when I feel alone, isolated. when I feel like I have no friends or family to hang out with besides the family I live with. Moving out here has changed me in ways and made me realize a lot about myself and others, and it was another great example of a situation that forced me to grow up. I don’t want to compare it to my parents divorce because that was a very nasty, ugly, and traumatic experience for my family and I, and it doesn’t compare to moving out here. but they were two different experiences that definitely forced me to grow up and changed me emotionally and spiritually.
I just want to say, it’s okay to not be okay. Today I woke up not feeling okay, and that’s okay. I just want to say it’s important to give yourself grace and be patient and compassionate with yourself when it comes to your feelings, emotions, and well-being because we all experience life differently, and things effect us in different ways and levels and it’s important to take care of ourselves. To talk to people that we trust who love us, that know us, and to share how we’re feeling…not just the good stuff, but the bad stuff too.
All of the experiences that we have make us into the people we are in the present. it’s very important to acknowledge how we feel on our bad days too. To feel safe enough to express that and to also normalize it. Don’t be afraid to talk about it and don’t suppress your feelings because when we stay silent, or when we think, “Oh I don’t want to bother this person, I don’t want to bring them down,” well, we’re creating a war within ourselves. And we also need to keep in mind that it’s important not to unload on others either. There’s a difference between venting, talking, and unloading your emotions onto another, so it’s important to have boundaries. Give yourself grace and give yourself the opportunity to release what needs to be released because you’ll feel better afterwards whether a lot or just a little. We’re not meant to suppress things, it can create great imbalances within ourselves when we do that and then we end up blowing up on others or we end up having an emotional break down, or crying in the most random moments. And like a volcano, or a rain cloud that’s full of water, that’s waiting to burst– we burst too.
It’s only human and normal to go through so many different types of emotions, and I think that’s a beautiful thing about the human being. That we get to experience a variety of emotions and experiences, and it’s very healthy to talk about it; to be present with yourself to give your mind, body, and spirit what it needs at that moment. You can write or read about it, but most importantly talk to about it, whether it’s with a friend, family, or finding yourself a therapist. I feel like my current therapist is great, she’s the best therapist I’ve had, and I’ve gone to therapy twice in the recent years for myself. I highly encourage others to seek help when they need it, to seek professional mental help. I really wish everyone could have a therapist even when you feel you don’t need one because I believe it’s healthy talking to somebody that you don’t know on a personal level that’s a professional who has studied the mind, brain, and human behavior who’s considered an expert. It’s good to get feedback or advice, and have a professional listen to you and talk about your lifestyle, your habits, to not to be judged, but to help you release in a safe space. To help you understand why you are the way that you are, to help you heal and overcome grief, trauma, anxiety, depression and more. It’s very real and it’s so important to take care of ourselves.
So, if you’re reading this, I hope that you do your best today. I hope that you find peace within yourself through art, writing, praying, meditating, or speaking… Whatever that may be, to help you.
You can do it, don’t be afraid to express yourself and release anything that needs to be released whether it’s creativity and you’re experiencing a creative block like writer’s block, or if you’re feeling sad or angry about something. Don’t forget, there’s always that one person that you can go to, even a stranger. There’s help and support all around us, so seek it. Be your best self, heal from the things that have been bothering you, whether it’s been for years, your whole life, or just recently. But talk about it. It’s good for you, it’s healthy. So let’s normalize it.
Any who, thank you for reading this far. May you have a peaceful and beautiful day or night. I’m sending you a spirit hug!
Love and Light,
Sandra Fernandez
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